The 3X3 Method to Nurture Your Life
A method that will keep you on track in 2025.
I am not an annual goal-setter. I like to set themes that serve as the north star for the year for how my focus, energy, and resources are spent, but goals and hard, strict rules that come with them feel punishing. I know I am in good company because only <10% of people who make resolutions keep them by the end of the year, and 35% attribute quitting to losing motivation and 19% to becoming busy. Are we not resolute enough for resolutions, or should we rethink how we set them?
In addition, every day is a new day to work towards a goal, not just January 1st, the following Monday, or when we hit some arbitrary milestone.
Having said all that anti-January goal-setting monologue, I do think the beginning of the year is a good time to reflect on whether there are areas in my life I should put more effort into, develop better habits, and ensure I don’t forget to nurture important (yet oft-forgotten) facets of well-being, such as creativity. Or else, calendars fill up quickly with “to-dos” and not enough “to-feels” or “to experience.”
I have used the below 3X3 method for a few years, coupled with theme setting, and found it helpful in ensuring I am not only chasing big shiny goals but also working on daily habits that keep me healthy/productive/happy. Also, pre-method, I overly gravitated toward professional goals or those with quantifiable outcomes at the cost of ignoring other equally, if not more critical, qualitative aspects of life. Most importantly, this method emphasizes creating fun and inspirational opportunities that keep me engaged and energized throughout the year.
First, what are the three layers?
🌱 Nourish: These are actions you already take and want to continue or improve on because they are must-haves for current and future success; if you have good habits, maintaining them takes work, and I want you to acknowledge that here
💪 Challenge: What new actions can I take this year that can transform my life? What do I acknowledge will be difficult, but I will try?
✨ Inspire: What actions can I take to induce new memories/feelings/insights? How can I actively pursue new experiences and concepts that excite me throughout the year?
Across the top are three categories you choose for yourself. You can be specific and goals-driven (e.g., save up for that downpayment) or broad (e.g., mental/physical health) for areas you don’t have specific goals for but want to put reasonable effort into and build good habits throughout the year.
Let me share an example of what I am working on for myself for 2025 (more to come in January!):
Now, here are a few principles for creating a realistic plan.
• Specify goal vs. actions: for instance, if your goal is “to get fit” or “lose weight,” your actions are “walk 5k steps a day and add 1k every month until 10k.” Start small with incremental changes you can commit to doing even on your busiest days.
• Acknowledge new actions are “Challenges” that require consistency: constant failure can make you lose motivation, and I find that acknowledging what will be difficult or currently not the norm can help you think through a reasonable action plan
• Emphasize what you are gaining vs. missing to get out of a scarcity mindset: instead of “don’t watch TV,” make plans on how you will fill that time so you are more excited about the new activities
I am working on my 2025 table and will share a draft when I have one. I revisit and modify the table throughout the year as situations change, and I am inspired to try new habits, so don’t stress yourself out that this must be locked in by January!
Before I go, I wanted to share a recent piece I wrote about Resilience. Reflecting on the tumultuous year we all undoubtedly had, I learned that resilience is a skill we can all cultivate. I spent 2024 working on Physical, Intellectual, and Emotional resilience, and I wanted to share what that experience looked like. I have emerged as a much stronger person (literally and figuratively), and I would love to hear how your 2024 went and how you practice resilience.
NEW Substack Series Alert!
“Monthly Highlights,” where I share insightful, fun, memorable events from every month to give you more context of what inspires my writing topics. If you have NYC or trip recommendations, send them my way! Check out my November Highlights.
Where You At
I launched a new exciting series called “Where you at.” This series explores diverse professional journeys and asks questions we all want to know: How did you figure out your career goals? Are you happy at your job? How much do you make? We are collecting submissions (anonymous!) and will be dropping fresh profiles every week. Come be nosy, comment, and ask questions!
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